Long time no blog...

Yep, it's been awhile since I have written anything. I've been busy with other things and really has been too late for me to get online lately. On Thursday night, me an Crystal got to go out on a date night as our kids had a sleepover at my mom's house. We browsed some stores around town and had dinner at Applebee's. Now used to, I would have had a big burger and fries or a fried appetizer sampler platter. Of course things are different now. I instead chose one of the under 550 calorie meals, chicken dijon w/portabello mushrooms and steamed veggies. It was really good, even if it was a little difficult for a minute to get used to the small portions compared to the huge plate I used to see in front of me. My motivation got even stronger Thursday morning when I weighed and found myself up another 4 pounds. So just to be clear, that is 8 pounds I gained since last weigh in (as of Thursday). So Thursday was a perfect day.

Friday was a great day. I started the day with watermelon at work for breakfast. Then I met my old buddies that lost their jobs at work for lunch when I got off at noon. We met at an Italian restaurant that has the best strombolis and calzones...and all you can eat breadsticks. I didn't do it! I didn't cheat! I opted for grilled chicken breast with a side salad. I dipped my fork in the side of ranch dressing, so no flooding my salad with fat and I also only drank water. That evening, me and the family went to the relay for life cancer event. We must have walked the small track 30 times. Thankfully I got me a good pair of walking shoes before we went to it, so I was feeling pretty good. I usually don't like eating late, but after getting home at 9:30pm and not eating since about 1, I had to break that rule. I cooked up some lean turkey burgers and had two on high fiber low calorie bread with lettuce and tomato. Then I added 100 calories of chips (not a healthy food, but did measure controlled portion) and some pretzels w/spicy mustard to dip. It was a huge dinner that hit the spot...and was only 800 calories. My total calories for Friday was about 1600. I also found some 100 calorie ice cream sandwiches which are awesome!

Saturday was a lot of walking. Starting the day with a sub from subway and then took mom to get her hair done at 2 and ran errands while she was there. Then we walked the shopping center getting Austin some shoes. After mom got out of her appointment, we drove about 45 minutes to another town west of ours to go to the drive-in theater. We had about 3 hours to waste before the theater gates opened. We walked around a couple stores in a shopping strip and then around a small indoor mall. An early dinner came at Wendy's. I chose, along with my daughter, the grilled chicken sandwich and side salad w/light ranch. That was about 400 calories. So far up until the movie started, I had consumed about 1200 calories. Then the movie started and so did my bad habits from the past. I ate an entire medium popcorn (no buttery oil on it though), handfull of veggie wheat thins, small pack of fruit gummy snacks, 5 fried cheese sticks, 3 chicken nuggets and ranch dressing to dip them in. I know, epic fail. I felt like crap after both movies ended. We went to the local walmart by the theater after the movies, about 2 am. We walked around for about an hour there, so I felt a little better by the time we headed on the 45 minute drive home at 3am. After dropping off mom, we got home at 4am and quickly went to bed. Total calories for the day, approximately 3400.

So here we are at today. Slept til noon. Straightened up the kitchen and put together a marinade for my chicken I'm grilling (hopefully) tonight. We planned on trip to the beach at the lake but storms hit before we were able to. If the rain doesn't leave, I'm just going to bake the chicken. The marinade I experimented with is: lime juice, little cider vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, soy sauce, minced garlic, thyme, cayenne pepper, paprika, curry, dijon mustard, pepper and a pinch of salt. I'll post how it tastes tonight or tomorrow. The only thing at this point I've ate today has been low sugar/high fiber oatmeal and a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich (told you they were awesome). So 270 calories as of 5:20pm. I'm not hungry either. I think my body knows how stupid I ate last night and is still processing all that crap. About 6 or 7 I'm going to make the chicken with some veggies and brown rice. That way I can be done eating well before bed time.

One last thing. I had mentioned I was at 383 pounds on Thursday. Thankfully, I weighed today and am at 372 pounds. The crap I ate last weekend is finally out of my system I guess. Now I just need to hurry and get rid of the crap I ate last night.

Back in the fast lane

Today was a great day. I was able to get back on the road and feel good tonight. I used to keep a food journal, but got lazy with it. I think it really helped, so tomorrow I am going to start it back again. Today I kept track in my head and I have had about 1700 calories. High fiber light bread and fat free turkey sandwiches (2) for dinner w/some pretzels, watermelon, oatmeal and grilled chicken salad at work. Then I ended the night with some really great watermelon. I gotta get down to 374 for me to be happy next Tuesday at weigh in. That will get the 4 pounds I gained off, plus one for the road. Overall, I want to be under 370 when July begins if at all possible.

We went grocery shopping tonight. I bought plenty of chicken breasts, ground lean turkey and some lean pockets for quick healthy eats. Apples, peaches, watermelon and will get bananas Friday (cheaper at other store). I did buy diet cola, but you know as long as my eating is good and I'm drinking water too, a good cold diet cola can be my treat...and there is no fat or sugar to run me off the road. Once again I waited too late to write so I am not taking as much time as I'd like to finish my thoughts. That was the point of my blog, to vent my thoughts and ideas about my weight loss journey along with other things. Unfortunately, I will have to go more in depth later. I'm tired and everyone else in the house is already asleep. G'night and thanks for stopping by to read a little bit.

Weigh In Day!

I gained 4 pounds today at weigh in. This takes me up to 379.2. Wasn't shocked, considering how I ate Sunday. It was more than I figured though. I then broke my vow not to eat stupid after a bad weigh in. I ate perfect at work only to go buy pizza for dinner. Not only did I sabotage my eating healthy, I put that crap in front of my kids to eat. The only good part is I did mow the lawn tonight and burnt some of those calories...not enough to cancel it out, but a little is better than none. Tomorrow is store night so I can get my good and healthy food in stock. On a side note, the stress I was under for financial reasons has been lessened. It's still not gone all the way, but I have found some breathing room. I won't bore you with details, but I thank God for answering a prayer. Well, I am back on track tomorrow and know I will be fine. I hope to lose at least 5 pounds this week. I got a new book to read. It's called "From Chunk to Hunk, Diary of a Fat Man" by Fred Anderson. I am a fourth of the way into it and it is pretty good. Just like the book Half Assed, it is someone who has travelled the road I am on and succeeded at losing tons of weight. No real advice in it that I haven't heard or knew, but that is what I wanted. I just wanted a good inspiring, motivating and real story to give me some hope when I am having a rough day. Goodnight, I'm tired and heading to bed.

Fathers Day

Today was very good. Went to church and then out with the family to eat. Mom treated me to a steak lunch (so I was off my good eating today). We took time to tell stories about Dad and on the ride home I talked even more about him to the kids. I took the kids for ice cream before we got home...yes I had some too. Not proud of how I ate, but I got my mind off the stress for awhile and had a good day. It's a lazy day, so not much to write about. Well...guess I'm done.

Afternoon at the lake

Went swimming with the family at the lake today. Stayed about 3 hours and got a good belly/chest burn. When we got home, I fired up the grill and put some chicken and veggies on it. I have a killer sweet tooth but am fighting temptation to eat ice cream and snacking on animal crackers instead. I didn't feel like blogging last night and really don't feel like it now but I know me staying on track depends on it. I am still stressed and can't shake the dreary feeling that Crystal's paycut has caused. I look everyday for either a higher paying job for her or a decent PT job for me/her. I really do not want to take a $7.25 hour job part time due to by the time taxes are taken and the fact I will only be able to work about 20 hours a week, I would have very little money for my time. I am still confident we will get through this, but I need it to hurry and get better before we lose something. It's not just the bills and fun money that are hurting, but the stress it is putting on me and Crystal is not good for the marriage. We have been through many bad things so I am not worried about us, but I also hate the constant bad moods that a lack of money causes. Nothing else to say.

Friday Eve!

Austin is spending night at friends house, Chloe getting clothes ready for tomorrow's GT camp play and I'm trying to suppress the stress. I went for a mile walk this evening and ate well all day. Unfortunately, I made two peanut butter sandwiches in a moment of stress eating. I really am having a rough night. First off, I feel like I am losing connection with my family due to them always wanting to be around the friends/boyfriends family. I am happy they all have these best buddies (Crystal included), but I almost feel that just having time to ourselves as a family is over and done with for them and that they will only be happy if our families are stuck up each others butts. Don't get me wrong, they are nice folks, but I guess I am just jealous that my family always wants them around or to be around them. Then I got Crystal's paycut killing our money situation. This is the worst we have been financially. Everyone has a slump and I know ours will end eventually, but it sucks making good money only to have the wife make just over minimum wage after making $2.50 more an hour just a few months ago. On top of that I got two great kids that should be able to go on a nice vacation like their friends and I wont be able to take them anywhere. I feel like I have completely failed as a dad and husband for not having my household in better financial shape. I guess it is inevitable that I need to get a second job, which also adds stress. Not only do I have the pressures of my day job and everything else, now I will be having to give up my nights to another job just to break even. I didn't intend this to be a vent session tonight, but its my blog so I will use it as needed. It is weight loss related though since stress leads to overeating and causes water retention. I'm spent...going to bed and try to feel better about life in general tomorrow. G'night.

Just got home!

Nothing metaphoric about todays blog title, I really just got home. As soon as I got to my Mom's house to pick up my son (daughter is at school GT camp), I ended up taking my Mom places. First we went to Arbys to eat. I had the small size combo roast beef sub. Not terrible considering I used to get the large combo and a side item or small sandwich with it. Today at work I only had an apple, can of chicken breast, half a can of greens and bowl of oatmeal so my total daily calories are right where I want them...maybe a lil bit higher. So after we ate, it was off to the pharmacy and then to the grocery store. Long story short, by the time I took her home and then got myself home it was a little before 10. I am wore out! No walk tonight like I had hoped, but I should get one in tomorrow. Today at first break I actually walked around the parking lot at work instead of sitting on my butt. By lunch though, it was way too hot and humid (my asthma would have been at level 10 I am sure).

As I was shopping tonight, I couldn't help but see foods in a new way. As the large woman in spandex shorts and a stained tank top walked by, I wondered if she might feel better and take more pride in her appearance if she changed some of her food choices. Twinkies, mayonaisse, donuts, bologna, chips and candy were the main choices I noticed. I was doing that same shopping just over a month ago. That's why I know that she most certainly would feel better about herself and have a little more pep in her step (and less grease stains on her shirts).

I headed down the produce section and picked up some apples. I used to find myself saying they were so heavy it would be too expensive to buy them individually and then wait for a magical sale on bagged apples that never hardly happened. Now, I pay the $1.69 a pound and feel good that I am eating something good for me and only paying about 50 cents each for them. Then I headed to the middle aisles. The majority of items here I am avoiding. This is more mac and cheese, hamburger helper and cereals for wife and kids. With the exception of canned veggies, I am avoiding all that starchy, sugary and sodium filled crap. Back to my foods now. I headed to freezer section for some chicken breasts. Back in the day I would see $7 a bag and think that was a lot to spend and would just go grab a $2 frozen pizza or $4 bag of chicken nuggets, but I never had an issue spending $8-$10 on just my food at fast food. Now I see at least two meals made out of that $7 chicken breasts, for three people (Austin won't touch it, but we are used to making him a separate meal sometimes). Cruising down dairy aisle, I grab some light flavored yogurts to eat along with my oatmeal at breakfast or when I have a sweet tooth. Get skim milk for Crystal to use when cooking. Yes, 2% or higher cooks better, but the kids never notice the difference in mac and cheese or on their cereal and they avoid unnecessary fat and calories. Ok, I've went on long enough. Point is I can easily identify bad foods from good and when I do eat bad foods (Arby's small size combos) I know not to eat much else and not to do it often. The store can be a eating right killer, so it's best to know thine enemy and avoid the bad neighborhoods in the store!

Yes, this is a boring blog, but I am writing this for me and to keep me on the right road on my weight loss journey. Maybe it will get better as the pounds drop off of me. G'night.