Another "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" post

The good: Not at all fitness related, but I filled out my college application to start school in August. I have been out of high school for 16 years and besides a 7 week stint, I've never been to college. In light of the recent rumors of my work closing, I felt it was time to make a change to better myself.

The bad: I ate 3 donuts over the course of the workday today.

The ugly: Chinese buffet for dinner last night followed by half a bag of jelly beans.

That's all I got. As usual, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start again. Not thrown in the towel, just in a long rut. I will beat this though and be all good!

Another one of those nights...

First off, yesterday wasn't a great day eating. I ended up having a huge calzone for lunch and ended up eating spicy hot smoked sausages for dinner. Not healthy at all. Today hasn't been bad though. Still had leftover sausages and some jalapeno cheese spread, but finished with baked turkey for dinner. Tomorrow will be better.

Now, I am getting back to trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, lol. With looming rumors of my company possibly consolidating sites and closing the one I work at, I gotta get a plan B. With being 33 years old (34 in July), no college experience (other than a failed 7 weeks back about 12 years ago where I just quit to focus on Chloe as a baby and my full time job) and being with this company for about 11 years I am lost on where to begin. I guess plan B will consist of going to college, but not sure what I want to do. With so many years since school behind me, I am nervous that I won't know what the crap they are talking about in class. I also worry that since I will be in my late 30s when I finally get a degree (early 40s if I have to do a 4 year degree at a 6 year pace) that I will always be picked last for a job compared to those in their 20s. Oh well, first things first...gotta decide what I want to do for the rest of my working life. More to come tomorrow friends.

Friday's info...

Sorry, was too busy to post last night. So today there will be two....I am committed to posting about each day.

I weighed here at home in my usual gym shorts only attire yesterday morning. Was not too bummed when I seen 365 pounds. I am still down close to 40 pounds even after all the crap I have been eating. At work I weighed in at 370 with my tennis shoes, polo and jean shorts. I guess from here on out I am going to just start posting my weight from my at home weigh in since it is the truest to what I really weigh. Also, since Chloe weighs in with me on Fridays it makes more since anyway. My calories for the day were 2600. I could have picked a better dinner to have and also not gotten the small McDonald's ice cream cone, but my calories were good and I woke up not feeling like a cinder block.

Well, lots of yard work at my house and at my mom's to do today so gotta run. Have a great day friends o'mine!

New beginning take two

Paid lunch at work from non-healthy food friendly restaurant plus not enough time to cook equals WAY TOO MANY CALORIES! So, tomorrow will be my day to get back to my old ways of healthy living and ditch the whole 75% good and 25% bad eating that is keeping me at the same weight. My weight will be posted tomorrow so that I can see my progress and bare it for all to see here. Have a good night friends!

Now where was I...

Sorry for the last venting post. Now let me get back on the subject of my weight loss adventure.

This will be short and to the point. Words without action mean nothing. So for the last 6 weeks (at least) my words on this blog haven't meant a thing. I get revved up and motivated, post my exuberance for fitness/weight loss and then hours later I'm eating cookies and pizza. The solution for this is....???? I have no definite solution. From November to March I thought I did. My lifestyle was limit flour, sugar and fried foods and completely cut out processed foods like crackers, chips, candy and cookies. I also ate regular portions of meals and had fruit or veggies as in between meal snacks so that I was eating about every 2 hours for a total of 3 meals and 3 snacks. My calories never topped 2400 (often they never hit 2000) and my water intake was at least 64 ounces a day. I was also walking or playing basketball at least 3 days a week. That may not seem like much, but it's 3 days more often than I've been active lately. Now that I look at what I just wrote, maybe I do have the solution. Back to that plan of attack beginning tomorrow. Nothing else to write, just gotta do what I was doing and get to where I want to be. I'll weigh tomorrow at home and work and post the weights tomorrow. I know there will be a gain from where I was at last time, but that's okay...it'll be off of me soon! Take care friends!

Just venting...not much fitness related info

I ate crap today. Lots of it. Ice cream, white bread, big dinner with tons of carbs and butter, you get the picture. Even drank a regular Coke. I'm in an emotional funk, physically spent and just all together not myself. I hate the fact that I had a chance to take a permanent lay off 18 months ago where I would have gotten 2 years of schooling and unemployment since my job went overseas and didn't take it. Instead I apply to keep a job only to hear this week that eventually it will be gone, but since not going overseas I probably won't get near that same package. I cannot stand the fact that people I have worked with/for over the last several years don't even think enough of me to so much as to smile or wave when they see me in public. Of course that is most likely because I am one of the most easy to forget or not know people ever...always have been. I am disgusted with myself for not being able to keep the motivation or self control to not eat crap. I bend over backwards to do things that others in my life need or want and ignore what I would rather do...at no time does anyone ask what I need or want. I am just here to play a part in a life that should be way different. Oh how I wish that I could go somewhere far away, where no one could find me and just focus on me for a few days...or weeks. But alas, I will keep on like a drone or worker bee and keep smiling and faking that I am that happy go lucky funny nice guy. Because that's what makes everyone comfortable and happy...everyone but me. Of course I could just be at my snapping point tonight and will wake up and feel refreshed and good to go. Or I have finally just had my fill of the crap I have allowed to build up in my life and this is the breaking point I have needed to make a change. Guess we'll see.

For anyone who may read this, sorry it's such a dark post. I needed to vent and I didn't have anywhere else to get all this off my chest. Didn't want to bother the few friends I have with this stuff and family doesn't really care to hear it either. Hope to have something better for tomorrow, but no guarantees. Take care friends.

What happened?!

For four months my weight loss adventure was going smooth as could be. These last six weeks have been just the opposite. I find myself buying crap foods, eating terrible choices and losing my motivation more often. I have not gave up the weight loss adventure, that's not what I'm saying at all. Here is a typical day of how it has been:

I measure out my half cup of oatmeal and grab my 3 packs of Splenda sweetener for it. Then I pack my lunch of either a Lean Cuisine type dinner or chicken breast with green beans (or something else "healthy"). Got my apple, orange, veggies or some other non processed food for snacking at work.

On the way to work I start thinking about how good the breakfast bagel sandwiches are at McDonalds as I pass the golden arches getting on the freeway. Then I see Frisch's Big Boy and think about the times I tore that breakfast buffet up. In the past thinking of both of those would disgust me and make me feel good that those things are behind me. Lately though, these have been nostalgic thoughts that entice me to go back to them. I have even had my wallet out and ready to go through drive through and McD's only to fight my old demons and keep on to work.

So I finally make it to work. I go into the cafeteria for a spoon for my oatmeal. While there I drool over the biscuits and gravy or the greasy deep fried breakfast taquitos...and this week I bought a couple of the taquitos to eat with my oatmeal. This added WAY too many junk calories. Along comes lunch time. I eat my healthy lunch...and a couple days added an order of fries to go with it. Not to mention one day I ignored my lunch to opt for a "chuckwagon" burger. A crappy deep fried meat patty of some sort with fries. Don't worry about the lunch I ignored...I had it for a snack. Of course I couldn't ignore the vending machines on a couple of breaks over the last 6 weeks. Each trip found me buying two items (gotta have something sweet and salty).

Dinner time comes. This is where there are many scenarios. I will either...eat sensibly and only have the errors of my earlier food choices on my conscience, eat terribly and be all out bad for the day or eat sensibly and then blow it with ice cream and/or snacks afterwards.

As you can see, this is not the eating habits of someone being healthy. I am not sure what happened. I am still at about 360 pounds, so the good meals are balancing out the bad ones. Obviously though, I still have way too many pounds to lose to just hover at this weight. I have came a long way from 403, but have a long way to go to under 250 pounds.

Here I am again wondering what I can do to fix what is broken and get back to it. Dealing with stress will be a start. Getting rid of the junk foods will be the next thing. Not having cash with me will help avoid crap food at work. Posting on my cubicle wall at work and in my kitchen/desk at home my motivators for losing weight will be added help. I have flirted with the idea of a video blog  so that hearing my own voice and emotion when watching them may keep me going. But I hate looking at myself and hearing my own voice, so not sure if I can do that.

All I can do is try again and stay committed to not screwing up. I ask that my friends/followers keep supporting me as I work through this funk I am in. More to come...possibly even tonight...my friends!

All good this Friday eve

So I ate way too few calories yesterday (thanks to Jeff from Fat2FitRadio for setting me straight on my caloric needs). I had only consumed 1200 calories, but really should be around 3500 calories for my size. This will be a slower weight loss, but I will have minimal muscle loss, my metabolism should increase and my chances of keeping the weight off will be higher. Also, I'm not a bit hungry tonight after having my healthy foods and at 2950 calories. I was looking at doing 2300 calories a day, but based on the bmr tool on fat2fitradio.com that was too low. I don't know how often I will hit 3500 calories, but I want to get at least 2800 calories a day. When I get more active, I will probably increase them.

Well, not much else going on weight loss wise. Lots of looming issues at work, but not going to get into it on my happy place blog, lol. Til next time friends, take care!

The errors of my ways explained

Okay, I did the quick post earlier today from my phone, but it was short and sweet. Typing a blog post from an Iphone's tiny keypad sucks for fat fingers. So I feel the need to go in depth tonight on what's been going on with me and where exactly I screwed up.

In the last 2 months I have lost 5 pounds. This is compared to the 35 I lost from the end of November thru the last week of February. The first 3 months I was keeping track of my calories, avoiding processed foods and cooking more at home. Things changed during the last two months. I had started listening to some other podcasts and had way too much contradicting "diet" advice, but not lifestyle changing advice. The info I was getting made me doubt my 1/2 cup of oatmeal I ate at breakfast because it was carbs not protein. It made me think my 2 apples and an orange a day was too much sugar and would cause me to gain. It also said that my walking everyday wouldn't help me lose weight. I have no idea why I even started listening to other podcasts besides the wonderful Fat2FitRadio. I won't mention the other podcast that led me off to limbo land, but I will be cutting it from my links. Every episode told you a different diet plan and basically gave tons of research as to why traditional things didn't work. After 30 episodes I came to the conclusion that they were just throwing darts and telling you every diet plan. One week low carb was the best, another week it would be fasting and on to another plan the next. Fat2FitRadio.com's podcast/website has the same plan that I was succeeding at to begin with.

I can't lay all the blame on the info. We have ate out more than we should and I have made stupid decisions. I have had the non healthy choices at fast food. There have been trips to Chinese and pizza buffets where I ate like I was at a trough. Then came Easter candy and you have the gist of what happened to me. 

So my renewal of the good ways began today...100% again. Back to tracking my food and calories. I took my food scale out of the package and used it for the first time. I will resume my walking and resistance training each day. Fruits, veggies, lean protein, oatmeal and brown rice will be my food. Refreshed and glad to be thinking straight again. More to come tomorrow friends.

Back to the basics

Just taking a minute while on break at work to post a lil bit. I have seen where I have went wrong the last few weeks. I started listening to diet advice and not staying with the healthy lifestyle changes that lost me these first 40 pounds. Now I am back to avoiding refined foods, flour/sugar rich foods and am focusing on veggies, fruits, lean protein, lots of water and living like a fit person. More to come later... Gotta get back to work ;-)

Been too lazy

People, I have fell hard over the last few weeks. For every 2 good meals, there has been at least one bad one. Sometimes a bad snack too. I thought I had things back on track, but not so much. Since my last update, I have gotten into the kid's Easter candy, had a DQ Blizzard, numerous restaurant meals and no exercise. Today has been some better. Turkey burgers for lunch and dinner with sauted onions and mushrooms. I had low carb wraps with them instead of bread and had a serving of tater tots. My only fail has been 4 chocolate marshmallow eggs. I have this nasty sinus/throat infection that I figured would be a good appetite suppressor, but that hasn't been the case. All I can do is work on making my next meal (breakfast tomorrow) a healthy one. I may have set myself up to be way off schedule for my weight loss goal, but at least I am still on this adventure and not giving up! Have a good one friends!