Sunday night, still eating right!

Okay, I took yesterday off from blogging...but not from eating right. Saturday I took my mother to a pizza place. It would have been easy to be stupid, especially since I have experience with that. Instead of pizza, I had a salad bar and order of wings. For dinner I had a couple smoked sausages and a left over burger with lettuce.

Today I had my homemade chili for breakfast (yes, at 8am I made it and by 9am was eating it). The only thing I really worry about carb-wise were the beans in it, but shouldn't hurt me too bad. Lunch was a grilled chicken caesar salad. For dinner I finished up the chili and then had some peanuts and low carb yogurt. All in all it was a good day and weekend eating wise.

Nothing much else to talk about. More will come tomorrow (as long as I don't get lazy). Goodnight.

TGIF

What usually is my worst day at not eating like a full, was actually a good day for me. Stuck with a salad and some skinless chicken and a little chili with shredded cheese at lunch. It was off of a buffet where I passed on all sorts of bad stuff. After I picked up Austin from school (Chloe went home with a friend), we had a boys day out. He wanted some Steak and Shake, so since he got straight A's on his report card I obliged. It had only been a couple hours since I ate...but that used to not mean anything. It does mean something now though. I had a diet soda while he ate his meal and drank his milkshake. I'm not going to lie, that shake looked so good that at one point I probably could have licked what had spilled on the table off. Instead of lusting over a burger or cheese fries, I focused on having a good day out with Austin. Just an example of how I am decreasing food's role in my life. Eat to live not live to eat. For dinner I made cheeseburgers and used lettuce in place of buns. It might not have been Steak and Shake, but it was darn good to me.

This morning, me and Chloe weighed. She had stayed the same since last week. I explained to her that many things could cause that and not to get discouraged. She is doing so good and I know next week she will have a loss. I had lost 5 pounds since last week. Tuesday is my big weigh in though. That will be at work in full clothes, like I weighed in when I started this adventure at 403 pounds. Gotta keep on track and no stupid eating! More to add tomorrow, goodnight!

Friday Eve

Big day today for me. Last year I bought a pair of jeans that were about 3 inches short of being able to be buttoned. It ticked me off because they were the same size as others that I could fit. Instead of taking them back, I kept them and told my wife I would lose weight and fit them. Today I was able to button them and wore them to work :-) Tomorrow is mine and Chloe's at home weigh in, so hopefully it will be a great day for both of us. Well, not much else to bring up. Chloe passed on ice cream at her mammaws today. She is showing such willpower for a 12 year old. I have finally gotten back in the habit of normal portions and feeling great. I'm still having small asthma episodes every other morning, but I think it is due to getting used to a dog and cat in the house and my allergy medication maybe not being up to the task. That's all for tonight friends. More to come tomorrow.

Weigh in day!

Every Tuesday, me and my fellow weight loss contestant buddies weigh in at work. Today I reached a small milestone. Since I started my latest, and hopefully last, weight loss adventure on November 29th I have now lost 30 pounds! I weighed 403 on 11/29 and am now 372.8 today!!!!! I have gotten so many words of encouragement from family and friends. It is hard to not dive into bad foods and gluttony being the compulsive eater I am, but the support helps me abstain. I had set a big idealistic goal to lose 100 pounds by our vacation the last week of July. At this pace I should make it, even if I slow a little bit. An average of 15 pounds a month is pretty good considering how big I am. The more you weigh, the faster you can lose. Inevitably though, I know the weight loss will slow. As long as the pace is good now though, I will make the most of it and keep on trying to lose as much as I can. I am going to reflect over what I can do to get exercise into my life. I hate staying late at work to use the gym because of the how late it is by the time I get home with the kids. It's cold, so not too thrilled about walks outside at night in it. I have my fitness video game, but the controller holster that is supposed to wrap around the thigh is too small for me. I may have to just do dumbell weights while sitting in my chair or laying in the floor at home and a quick walk on lunch at work.

I'm really proud of Chloe. Today at school she passed on pizza to have a turkey sandwich and a salad. She also passed on the cookies offered to her in a newspaper class!  She has been complimented by friends about looking thinner. Her weight has dropped from 168 to 159 in two weeks! She is a tall 12 year old, so thankfully she wears her weight pretty well. She is looking forward to the day where she can shop for clothes that are 3 or 4 sizes smaller. Based on my experience of wearing mens clothing at a young age, I know how happy she will be when she can stop wearing clothes made for women.

Nothing to it but to do it, and we are going to do it. I am stronger than any food craving. I will succeed and lose my weight. I have the support of family, encouragement of friends and faith that God will see me through. Goodnight friends!

Monday, stinking Monday!

Hello world. Yes, it was Monday and yes it was a stinky one. Okay, maybe that is a little too harsh. It could have been worse. I actually awoke feeling upbeat and full of energy. That was the first clue that the ill effects of the binge fest weekend before last were over. I got to work and had 2 scrambled eggs and a low carb energy drink. I usually get really hungry by lunch, but not today. I had zero appetite at lunch so I just had another low carb energy drink. Of course by the end of work I had gotten hungry and ate 4 pieces of sugar free candy. The same candy that warns of the green apple splatters if you eat too much. Fortunately, never have had an issue with that part of them. The bad thing was the 360 calories in just 4 fake peppermint patty candies. Still though, I only had about 540 calories at work.

The stress issues I was having last week about work were pretty much gone today. Besides the day dragging by, it actually was a decent day. I took inventory of the good and the bad of my job. The good stuff outweighed the bad. We'll see how it goes after my year end review this week :-)

Now I must discuss dinner. As always, when I skip meals at work I eat stupid at home. Tonight was no exception. Three double cheeseburgers with no bun (which wouldn't be horrible if I stopped there). I wasn't finished. I also had two breaded chicken patties. Remember the no flour and no sugar thing? Evidently I had a lapse in remembering it. If I just look at how many carbs I ate today, it wasn't a total loss. If I look at calories, we're talking utter failure. I can't beat myself up over it. One bright spot is that as I was going to enjoy a french fry...or two, Chloe spotted me and made me spit 'em out. She's so good in supporting her daddy in weak moments. If only I would have listened when she asked me if I really needed to eat all that food tonight. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day...and will be a better day! It's also weigh in day for me at work. Hoping for a loss from last week, but after the amount of food I ate tonight I'm a little worried. More to come tomorrow, goodnight.

It's been too long...

No excuses for not posting since January 9th, just got lazy with it I guess. In fact, if it wasn't for watching Julie and Julia with the family last night I may still have not posted. For those who have not seen it, one of the character starts a blog and writes each day about making all the recipes from a Julia Child cookbook. The blog becomes somewhat of a therapy to her. This is when I remembered how good a therapy my little crappy blog is to me. Primarily this is where I can talk about and record my eating habits and weight loss issues. Beyond that though, it's a forum where I can vent about stress and frustrations. Even though no one is reading it (except maybe the wife), I feel like I am talking to someone and sharing with them.

Okay, enough of that stuff...

Since my last post I have went through a 3 day eating binge (1/14-1/16), got a puppy and had a near meltdown over work/family/money/weight/marriage pressures. Thankfully, the eating binge ended and I have been back on track since. The puppy thing is going well. Her name is Pepsi (was that when we got the 2 month old chihuahua mix) and I often thought of adding "Diet" in front of her name to better match us. The effects of a mini meltdown are still something I'm dealing with. I make a decent modest income, but know that if my company does away with my job there will be no way I could make what I do now. Unfortunately, I have no college degree. I lasted 7 weeks in college after Chloe was born (12 years ago) and never went back. I would like to own my own business, but have no way to finance it...and really don't know what "it" would be. I want to be able to take my family on vacations. I want to have disposable income each week to just spend at movies, getaways and shopping trips. I feel like I am expected to work harder than most, but for some reason never get any further ahead than the slackers who just do enough to get by. As a 33 year old man, I still feel like a teenager being given chores by the family to do. I can do anything I want...as long as I tend to the needs/wants of everyone else first. If there isn't time for both what I want and what others want, I forgo what I want to satisfy their want. If I didn't, I know I would just be made to feel guilty or be treated like crap for some undetermined amount of time. Then I think about how much weight I have to lose and get mad at myself for getting this big and still have food cravings. I should never want to eat bad stuff again...but I do at times. Finally, I look at my beautiful wife and wonder how disappointed she must be to come home to my big butt every night. I was big when we were dating in high school, but nothing like now. These thoughts lead me to rationalizing reasons why I could see her finding someone else. All of these things came together this past Thursday. I took Friday off and have had 3 days to kind of soul search and plan.

I have decided to start working on a plan B since my life now would be plan A. I am going to get off my butt and start college in August. I am going to keep on track with my weight loss, though I am also debating counting calories/fat instead of the no flour or sugar thing...more on that later. Despite the resistance I may get, I am going to start doing a little more of what I want whether anyone else likes it or not. My family will always come first on the big stuff, but the little things that I often deprive "me" of will become fewer. Lastly, gotta get rid of some debt to free up the extra money needed for vacations and getaways. Obviously, all of this will take time. Just knowing I have a plan has let me know I can make things better. Still want my own business, but I know that will have be years down the road.

So here's the weight loss summary from today:
Weighed in at 369 lbs from home (which is less than work because I don't weigh in my undies at work ;-). This makes a 8 pound loss since 1/7. That's not much, but considering the binge weekend last week I'll take it. Let me share what I ate last weekend. Friday was chicken nuggets and fries (remember I had been avoiding sugar and flour and limiting fried stuff), stuffed crust pizza, wings and Twizzler candy. Saturday was Chinese buffet, more stuffed crust pizza and candy. Sunday was country fried chicken, dumplings, mashed potatoes and pretty sure something else bad that I have forgot about. So to have only had a 1 pound gain from 1/14 weigh in I'm okay. So far I have lost about 25 pounds since November 29th contest started at work. That is when I really got back on track and began my fresh start. Chloe has lost 9lbs since the 7th of this month! She is eating less and doing a dance video game where she moves a lot. Guess that's all for now. I am striving to post each day instead of such long lapses. Buh bye!

Crappy Saturday...

It is just before 1am Sunday, but I am still reeling from a crappy Saturday. The UK Wildcats lost the bowl game and the basketball game. Then, worst of all, my hometown Indianapolis Colts got beat in the first round of the NFL playoffs. I am too wired, and pissed, to go to sleep. Oh well, always next season I guess.

I know it's been awhile since my last post, but no worries. I have no cheated and actually started another weigh in contest with Chloe Friday. We are gonna run it for 6 weeks and at the end of it we will probably extend it. I told her if she does well and keeps eating right/exercising she'd get some cash. So far she has worked out with her Just Dance Wii game (which is like an exercise workout) for about 2 hours a day...since before we started our weigh in contest. I am so proud that she is working hard to get in better shape. We are helping each other. Next month she is trying out for softball. Even if she doesn't make it (since she hasn't played since kindergarten Tee ball 7 years ago), I am proud of her for trying.

So you know I mentioned eating crappy foods over the holidays. Lots of fast food and candies. Well, weighed in on Wednesday and had a great surprise. I had lost 24 pounds and after all the bad food I had only gained 4 pounds back! So as of Wednesday the 5th I had lost 20 pounds in approximately 5 weeks. 4 pounds a week is okay with me. I have been back on it 100% since Tuesday the 4th. In April we are taking Mom back to Ohio to see her brothers. It will probably be the next time I see my Sister (been since Sept or Oct since seen them) and I want me and Chloe to be slimmed down by then. My goal is to have 40 more pounds off. That would put me around 343 pounds...down from 403 pounds on 11/29! That goal may fluctuate depending on how fast or slow my weight loss is going. My biggie goal for vacation in July is to weigh around 260 pounds. That would be about 120 pounds from now til then (about 20 pound a month average). I know that is a high goal to set. If I don't meet it, as long as I'm under 290 I will be happy. Once I get to 260 I will hopefully know what my true goal weight should be.

Thats enough for now. It's after 1am and I'm tired. More to come later...

Newest Season of Biggest Loser tonight...

I'll be quick as I am in the middle of watching BL's first show of the new season.

Last night I was stupid and ate 5 pieces of Christmas candy. Then was stupider and ate 2 cookies and 1/4 jar of low sugar peanut butter.

Today was better...until dinner. I stayed low carb so that was a plus. The negative was I had 4 plain double cheeseburgers without the bun (so 8 patties and 4 slices cheese) AND a grilled chicken and bacon salad from McDonald's. Stupid is as stupid does and boy was I stupid. The amount of calories is crazy. Like I was out of control eating again. So now I sit embarrassed and feeling mad at myself for doing stupid.

Tomorrow I change it up. Lower calories, lower fat, no sugar and no flour. I HAVE TO DO THIS NOW! I do not have years to lose my weight, I have months. I won't be drastic, but I will be headstrong to not eat stupid food. I will also get back to my strong prayer life that I had for almost a month before eating stupidly around the holidays. More to come tomorrow.

Moving on...

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and motivated. Fortunately, I kept that feeling all day. As I walked in the kitchen I found the rest of the wings that I forgot to put back in the fridge. Thankfully, I forgot them on the counter and was forced to throw them in the garbage. I didn't have an appetite this morning, so I skipped breakfast. Me and the family ended up going shopping for me a pair of good exercising shoes. So at noon we headed out, only to find nothing was open until 1. I tried on a pair of Nike runners that felt like rocks on my feet. Then a pair of Fila that just didn't feel quite right. Finally at this shoe store I noticed a pair of K-Swiss with a bunch of tubes on the bottom. They felt great, but I was afraid with my size the tubes may just flatten and never bounce back out. Not to mention the bright red, white and blue color scheme. So we left and headed to another shoe store...then found the only other shoe stores in London (the neighboring town where I work at) were closed on Sundays. While in London, we went to the library where I picked up The Duke Diet book. I had seen Duke University's diet online and was curious. There is another book I have found out about online that I plan to get soon. It's called Fat Boy Thin Guy and is another weight loss memoir. Should get it this week or maybe next payday.

We ended our 15 minute drive to London and headed back to the neighboring town Corbin where we live. There were 3 shoe stores I planned on checking out along with a JC Penney. Fortunately, the first store had what I needed. I advised the clerk I was a big man (like she couldn't see that) and wanted a good support shoe for exercising. She pointed out the large manager there and told me of the shoe he preferred. I seen most of that brand (Brooks) were over $100 and my budget was well under that. I'll skip all the details, and get to the big part. After talking to the manager and telling him I wanted to exercise and needed a good shoe, he told me of his issues. He was in his early 50s and was 370 pounds. He stood about 3 inches shorter than me, which would explain why he looked so much larger than me, but weighed less. The friendly manager told me of his diabetes and kidney failure issues. He truly seemed to care that I wanted to lose weight. He brought me out two kinds of shoes he recommended. A $40 pair of clearanced out Asics regularly $80 and a pair of $95 Brooks. I was told to put one on the left foot and the other brand on the right and compare them. I couldn't believe it, the Brooks was like a pillow. He told me I could have them for $15 bucks off if I wanted them. So that was my shoe choice. Yes, after tax they were $85, but this was the best feeling shoes I ever put on.

I have bought Jordans for the same price that hurt my feet too much to wear. I have several shoes that I pay $40 for that after 2 months feel like I am walking on wood. So I think investing in a good pair was a smart thing for my size and exercise ambitions. Plus, Brooks was the shoe provider for The Biggest Loser TV show in 2009 (per their website). My workouts will be nothing compared to that show. I just plan on walking the neighborhood and maybe some exercise bike or treadmill at work.

Enough show talk and lamenting over the kind manager who played a small role in supporting me. Let's talk food. I already mentioned there was no breakfast today. About two hours ago I had a grapefruit and a pack of tuna along with about 32 oz of water. I honestly am not that hungry. I will make some eggs or ground turkey burgers tonight for dinner, but no cravings and no feeling the need to snack so all is good so far! I'll write more tonight if something else pops into my head. later...

Merry Christmas (belated) and Happy New Year!

Yep, you guessed it...been off the wagon again. So let's summarize. I've had Taco Bell, McDonalds, Long John Silvers...and that was just this past 2 days. I have had hot wings, pizza, tacos, chicken sandwiches, fries, cookies, candy and full sugar pop/juice. I have been HORRIBLE. Today there are still about 30 wings in my fridge. Tonight they will be gone. Tomorrow I will give it my all to eat no flour and no sugar and limit calories and fat!

Chloe has been trying to keep her dad in line, but I have brushed it off as "it's the holidays". That is the same crappy answer I have gave for years. So with a guilty feeling, my gorging will continue thru the evening. I am going to purchase new shoes for exercising tomorrow. Mine are broke down.
Besides good healthy eating, I want to start exercising too. I hope by July to have 100 pounds off for vacation. I have to stop having these breaks from doing good if I am going to succeed. Tomorrow is the start of a new day. I pray that this will be my last post about failing to stay on it.