No excuses for not posting since January 9th, just got lazy with it I guess. In fact, if it wasn't for watching Julie and Julia with the family last night I may still have not posted. For those who have not seen it, one of the character starts a blog and writes each day about making all the recipes from a Julia Child cookbook. The blog becomes somewhat of a therapy to her. This is when I remembered how good a therapy my little crappy blog is to me. Primarily this is where I can talk about and record my eating habits and weight loss issues. Beyond that though, it's a forum where I can vent about stress and frustrations. Even though no one is reading it (except maybe the wife), I feel like I am talking to someone and sharing with them.
Okay, enough of that stuff...
Since my last post I have went through a 3 day eating binge (1/14-1/16), got a puppy and had a near meltdown over work/family/money/weight/marriage pressures. Thankfully, the eating binge ended and I have been back on track since. The puppy thing is going well. Her name is Pepsi (was that when we got the 2 month old chihuahua mix) and I often thought of adding "Diet" in front of her name to better match us. The effects of a mini meltdown are still something I'm dealing with. I make a decent modest income, but know that if my company does away with my job there will be no way I could make what I do now. Unfortunately, I have no college degree. I lasted 7 weeks in college after Chloe was born (12 years ago) and never went back. I would like to own my own business, but have no way to finance it...and really don't know what "it" would be. I want to be able to take my family on vacations. I want to have disposable income each week to just spend at movies, getaways and shopping trips. I feel like I am expected to work harder than most, but for some reason never get any further ahead than the slackers who just do enough to get by. As a 33 year old man, I still feel like a teenager being given chores by the family to do. I can do anything I want...as long as I tend to the needs/wants of everyone else first. If there isn't time for both what I want and what others want, I forgo what I want to satisfy their want. If I didn't, I know I would just be made to feel guilty or be treated like crap for some undetermined amount of time. Then I think about how much weight I have to lose and get mad at myself for getting this big and still have food cravings. I should never want to eat bad stuff again...but I do at times. Finally, I look at my beautiful wife and wonder how disappointed she must be to come home to my big butt every night. I was big when we were dating in high school, but nothing like now. These thoughts lead me to rationalizing reasons why I could see her finding someone else. All of these things came together this past Thursday. I took Friday off and have had 3 days to kind of soul search and plan.
I have decided to start working on a plan B since my life now would be plan A. I am going to get off my butt and start college in August. I am going to keep on track with my weight loss, though I am also debating counting calories/fat instead of the no flour or sugar thing...more on that later. Despite the resistance I may get, I am going to start doing a little more of what I want whether anyone else likes it or not. My family will always come first on the big stuff, but the little things that I often deprive "me" of will become fewer. Lastly, gotta get rid of some debt to free up the extra money needed for vacations and getaways. Obviously, all of this will take time. Just knowing I have a plan has let me know I can make things better. Still want my own business, but I know that will have be years down the road.
So here's the weight loss summary from today:
Weighed in at 369 lbs from home (which is less than work because I don't weigh in my undies at work ;-). This makes a 8 pound loss since 1/7. That's not much, but considering the binge weekend last week I'll take it. Let me share what I ate last weekend. Friday was chicken nuggets and fries (remember I had been avoiding sugar and flour and limiting fried stuff), stuffed crust pizza, wings and Twizzler candy. Saturday was Chinese buffet, more stuffed crust pizza and candy. Sunday was country fried chicken, dumplings, mashed potatoes and pretty sure something else bad that I have forgot about. So to have only had a 1 pound gain from 1/14 weigh in I'm okay. So far I have lost about 25 pounds since November 29th contest started at work. That is when I really got back on track and began my fresh start. Chloe has lost 9lbs since the 7th of this month! She is eating less and doing a dance video game where she moves a lot. Guess that's all for now. I am striving to post each day instead of such long lapses. Buh bye!
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