i'm back...

So I took a hiatus from blogging and now am paying for it. I broke from my no flour/no sugar rule Friday December 24th (Christmas Eve) and ate crap thru the weekend. Today I sorta got back on it. No breakfast, beef roast and veggies for dinner and then popcorn and dark chocolate for snack. Not the greatest day, but not disastrous. I will be better tomorrow. Nothing else to say. G'night!

Day 18...

Once again, this will be a brief post. I avoided all pizza at work today. Then I avoided cake. So a good day. No breakfast due to cafe at work closed. Lunch was can chicken and beans. Dinner 3 eggs and 7 strips turkey bacon. For a snack 2 cans of sardines. Total calories were about 1200. That's all I got for tonight.

Day 17

Christmas team party at work today. Pizza and sweets for all...but not me! I had hot wings (no carbs) and unsweetened tea. Breakfast was my 2 eggs of course. Dinner was a chicken salad at McDonalds and two plain burger patties with no bun. Total calories were about 2200...way too many, but at least I avoided flour and sugar. Unfortunately though, too much fat and calories. I wasted about 1200 calories just on the wings. At least I didn't eat cookies or pizza.

Nothing else big happened today so guess I'm done for the night. Lonely around here without the kids. They are at mom's due to possible ice storm coming and is dangerous driving to mom's in bad weather to drop them off before work. I just hope it doesn't get too bad to drive in. I really can't miss work and don't want to be in another wreck this year! I can't wait to take Chloe out to celebrate her birthday this weekend (her Bday is 22nd, but we give her the weekend before Christmas to have her time since we work on her birthday usually). That's it for now.

Day 16

Today was weigh in day at work. Total lost this week was 6.4 pounds. A grand total of 24.4 pounds I have lost since in the past 2 weeks! This morning I had my usual 2 eggs and also added a tray of cantaloupe for some fruit that I have been missing. Lunch was a pack of tuna and lettuce. Dinner was 1 turkey burger and half slice of cheese with some grilled onions on it. Snack was the last serving of my sugar free dark chocolate bars. I would approximate my calories for today to be around 850.

That's all for tonight...Biggest Loser finale is tonight, so gonna log off and watch it before bed.

Day 15

When all was said and done, we got around 8 inches of snow today. I called in since my rear wheel drive car has no weight in the back and fishtails in this stuff. Crystal did the same, only to be called by boss at 9 and told she had to come in. This jump started me to shoveling a driveway and walkway. Then cleared two cars and had them warmed up by 9:20. So there was my morning cardio workout ;-) Me and the kids just lounged around most of the day. I did watch a documentary called Foodmatters. Basically it said to eat more organic fruits and veggies, eat them raw, drink veggie juices and take plenty of essential vitamins. They revealed studies that show vitamin c in super high doses can cure cancer. That Niacin can cure depression. And that 2 handfulls of cashews daily can help like a prozac with no bad health effects. The experts on it advised a meal with 51-80% raw veggies and fruits each time you eat and take more than what is said to be recommended allowance of vitamins and this will heal you of disease. It was radical, but it did make a lot of sense. How drug companies pay millions a year lobbying government to vote/see things their way, so that would explain why a solution to disease as easy as nutrition and vitamins would never be recommended by doctors or government. I doubt I will be a vegetarian, but I am going to purchase some vitamins and more veggies to eat. I buy into alot of what they said.

A snow day at home in the past, especially without Crystal giving support, would mean eat all day. Not today! 2 eggs and 2 strips turkey bacon for breakfast. 2 grilled turkey burger patties with one slice cheese and onions for lunch. For dinner I had a small caesar salad with parmasan cheese and the last of my roast turkey from Saturday. Total calories were about 1300. Good day except for the lack of water I drank...which was 0 ounces. Tomorrow I'll do better!

Day 14

Alright, it is very snowy and cold out. About 3 inches so far and more to come. The roads at 3 were slick and wet looking with 25 degree temp. So now at 8:30 they are snow covered and I'm sure that wet look from earlier has made a nice sheet of ice under the snow that covers it. I have already about counted on taking an occurance at work and calling in tomorrow...Crystal feeling the same way. If nothing else, I will take a tardy and go in after the road crews can clear the roads. School is out for the kids, so it will suck traveling that county road to get to mom's house to drop them off if we do go to work. Oh well, will figure all that out tomorrow morning.

Today I stayed hungry and battled food hour by hour. I woke to have some turkey with cheese. Lunch was a caesar salad with turkey and dinner, you guessed it, turkey with cheese. I also had a serving of sugar free dark chocolate, which I regret buying. once they are gone I will buy no more. It is an addictive food and I have made it a practice not to eat addictive foods. My total calories so far (as I may have a snack of turkey in a few hours) is about 1500.

That's about it. I pray tomorrow is a good day. That the Lord keeps us safe, warm and happy.

Days 11 12 and 13

yep, was slacking and forgot to post.

Lets take the days in order.
Day 11 (Thursday)
Can't really remember much, but I'll try. breakfast was 2 eggs, lunch was pack of tuna and dinner was 2 eggs and 4 sausage patties. A snack of turkey and cheese ended my eating for the night. total calories about 1000. Then I watched the Colts beat the Titans on Thursday night football. Since I don't have NFL Network, I found it online...from a Swedish television broadcast that was streaming. The game was still NFL Network, but all the commercials were for foreign companies and products. Was pretty funny.

Day 12 (Friday)
2 eggs for breakfast and then at noon when I left work the temptation began. Me and mom went to an Italian restaurant that has my favorite food...huge strombolis and calzones. Not to mention a huge display case of gourmet cakes and pies. We were seated at the table right next to the cakes!!! I ate with my back to them. For my meal, I had the greek salad with grilled chicken and low fat ranch on the side. I passed on the bread sticks and survived watching mom eat a steak and cheese stromboli. I felt AWESOME afterwards for being so good! For dinner, me and Crystal went to Applebee's while Chloe and Austin were with friends. I had a 10 piece order of hot wings (yes, higher calories and fat, but no sugar or flour). No fries, no cheese sticks and no eating off of Crystals plate. Total calories for Friday was abut 1600.

Day 13 (Today)
No breakfast, grilled chicken caesar salad and dinner will be baked turkey on a homemade caesar salad. Estimated calories will be about 1400. Most of these calories will be from the caesar dressing and shredded cheese.

Not much to speak of. I avoided bad stuff again today at that same restaurant from yesterday since we ended up there again today. I am proud of myself. My Colts sweatshirt that I was too big for last month fit me perfect today. My pants fall off of me even with my belt. I just feel good! One day at a time and with the good Lords help I am succeeding. Without praying for help and taking it day by day, I would not be doing this good.

That's enough for today. Later...

Day 10

Was tempted by a few people to eat crap food today. Was criticized a bit for not eating flour or sugar. Misery loves company I suppose. My biggest loser buddies talk about food all day long. They lust over recipes and reflections of meals past like they are talking about a lover. Today our work team discussed what pizza they want at our meeting next week. When they asked what I like, I politely advised them I would not be eating any. That's when everyone was saying stuff like "you can eat a piece" or "thin crust is okay". So to shut everyone up, I advised them I didn't eat flour and sugar. Of course there were the "I couldn't go without bread" and the "I'm not going to deprive myself of foods". I told them that I eat lean meat, veggies, fruits and soups. Heck, I'd be fine eating a whole grain bread or pita if I wanted it because it's not just nutritionally useless white flour. The key word is WANT. I do not want crap. I have broke addiction to Italian bread loaves, muffins, bagels, doughnuts, cookies and all the other crap that I was addicted to that was slowly killing me. I do not want to eat double and triple portion sizes. I do not want to snack just out of boredom. I want to be a healthy and at a size closer to what God intended me to be. I want to have the health to run and play with my kids. I want to fit in amusement park rides with my family. I want to buy my clothes from regular stores and in the mens sections, not big and tall section. I want to sit at a booth without my belly divided in half by the table. I want to feel confidence in my looks. I want...much more than food.

Okay, that's what was on my mind. Now I'll wind this thing down.

Two eggs for breakfast, can of chicken and green beans for lunch, couple spoons of cheese ball and a pack of tuna for dinner. Total calories were around 600. Too low I know, but I am tired and too late to eat.

g'night

Day 9

This is gonna be quick...its 11pm on a worknight!

Weigh in was today, I lost 18 pounds!

Ate 2 eggs brkfst, turkey cheeseburger for lunch w/some veggies (no bun of course on burger), 3 eggs and turkey lunch meat for dinner and 5 turkey meatballs for a snack. Total calories for the day was about 1100.

Considered switching to counting fat grams instead of avoiding flour and sugar, but decided to keep doing what I'm doing.

Thats all for tonight, later!

Day 8

Got off on the wrong foot this morning. Wasn't able to get scrambled eggs and the only thing non flour or sugar laden was bacon. I ate four strips and called it breakfast. Obviously, it was fine for the low carb approach, but I hadn't ate greasy foods this whole week. I paid for it with a sick feeling for a couple hours. Lunch was a can of chicken breast and green beans. Finally, for dinner I passed on spaghetti and meatballs. Instead I opted for a good size turkey cheeseburger with 2 strips of turkey bacon...and a little cheeseball. Total calories about 1000.

Tomorrow is my day I picked to weigh in on the same scales at work. I am taking things one day at a time, but am hoping for a good 1 week weight loss. Nothing else happened to write of, so time to log off. Later

Day 6 and 7

I got carried away and forgot to post yesterday, so I will make this a double header.

day 6...
Saturday we fell under the first winter weather advisory of the year. Of course we didn't get anything more than a dusting of snow that turned to just a foggy cold day. About 2:30 we took Chloe to a friends birthday party. Me and Crystal thought we'd just take Austin to McD's to have a happy meal and play a little while Chloe was partying it up. So I indulged in a large and delicious...diet soda. Watching them eat wasn't hard at all. If anything it was just the habit of wanting to grab one of Austin's fries and smell of the food that even remotely tempted me. No, I am in a zone. A zone I will have to stay in for the rest of my life if I am to lose the weight, change my mentality on food and add years to my life. Nothing much else to speak of. Went to a few stores to waste time, got Chloe and headed home.

Now for a recap on Saturdays foods/calories. Breakfast was 2 scrambled eggs and 2 strips of turkey bacon. Lunch was 2 servings of baked round steak with sauted onions and mushrooms in worcestershire sauce. Yep, 2 servings. I pigged out, but I'm fine with that. They were trimmed of all fat and baked in oven. I also had a salad on the side instead of some starchy item. For dinner I had another serving of round steak and another salad. Also had a good portion of the lowfat cheeseball I made. Total calories were about 1800. More than usual, but right in line with recommended calories for my size.

Day 7
Today was a decent day. Weatherwise it was dreary with spitting flurries and cold temps. Inside was cozy. I made us scrambled eggs with mushrooms along with turkey bacon. I always make the turkey bacon on paper towels in the microwave. That soaks up what little fat is in each strip. For lunch I fixed turkey burgers and a side salad. I made one mega patty stuffed with a serving of cheese. It was about 2 to 3 servings. Along with a side salad, that was the last meal I had...at around 3 pm. I snacked on a wedge of cheeseball around 5, but no more meals for the day. I feel good tonight as I type this. My calories were about 1100 and I'm not hungry.

I won't get specific, especially after discussing food, but I have had an issue today. Four times I have had an upset belly today. I can only assume by the look of "things" that it is due to the frequent salads and fat that I am losing leaving my body. I am not worried, nor am I feeling sick, but it is odd. Usually when I don't eat many carbs I also don't go that often. I guess I should be happy knowing that the veggies I am eating is giving me the fiber I need or at least a good part of it. Yesterday I was concerned about something else. While slicing onions for lunch I had to stop and sit down. My chest had a weird ache, like a dull pain, right in the middle of it. I broke out into a cold sweat and felt a wave of nausea come over me. I couldn't tell if it was my heart. Couldn't tell if my pulse was high or heart rate was odd. All I know is if I were to have kept standing at the counter I am sure I would have passed out. After 10 minutes I was fine, but I didn't feel right for hours after. This further reiterated to myself how close to heart attack or death I am with being morbidly obese. More fuel to succeed in this weight loss adventure.

Well, Colts lost today and it's already pushing 10:30pm so I am off to bed. I have read 3 chapters in that new book Goodbye Fat Guy and would like to read another before I fall asleep. So far from what I've read, he lost his weight counting fat grams. I am just watching calories and abstaining from foods with flour or sugar in them. It's funny, when I first seen the pics in the book I was a little turned off. Not from his weight loss pics, but from pics of him in all these fancy and expensive vacation locations he has been to. Obviously, that is very bad of me to be jealous and envious thinking he was loaded and I was just a paycheck to paycheck guy. After that stupid moment passed, I had the realization that no matter how well to do this guy was it didn't help his weight loss. He had the same struggles that plague an obese person as me or anyone else. He never brags in his book, he just so happens to have lots of pics scuba diving, chilling at a beach side venue and Hawaii that I was envious of momentarily. I am still in his story of being fat, I think this coming chapter he gives his plan of action he took.

Even though he counts fat grams and focuses on that, I am happy with what I am doing. I don't follow a low carb Atkins diet plan. I don't eat butter or fatty foods. I don't eat anything fried. My protein sources are eggs, lean round steak, ground turkey, chicken breast (boneless/skinless) and turkey. I eat all types of vegetables. I do have some potatoes (like in the veggie soup I ate), but recognize they are very starchy so I haven't had them often. Everything is baked or grilled. Really the only thing that I eat that is "bad" would be my 160 calories worth of scrambled eggs I have for breakfast. They are high in cholesterol and fat, but at the same point that is the only food item I eat that has those amounts. I have to think that my body is getting more benefits from them than any bad effects.

I weighed today at home. I have said I would only weigh once a week and we (the BL contest friends) picked Tuesdays to be that day...but I couldn't weight. So here is the disclosure. I know scales weigh different place to place. I weigh at work on digital shipping type scales that have a huge weight capacity. My scales at home are digital Conair Weight Watchers brand scales that go up to 390lbs (or in that neighborhood). The time of day will effect your weight since you have more fluid (and any foods/drinks) in your body and organs later in the day. Also, at home I usually am not in jeans and tennis shoes. So, now that all that has been said, I weighed at 11am after eating my eggs and bacon and drinking a 16oz bottle of water. I wore jogging pants with a t shirt and was barefoot. The scale read 382. So even if you add a pound for some heavy shoes, that would be 24 pound loss since Monday. Even if you take of 2 pounds for difference in scales, that is still over 20 pounds lost this first week. I am so excited!

For the first time in a long time, my focus wasn't on what I was going to eat and wishing I was eating something else. I was eating to live and not living to eat. That is why this is working. That, and God giving me the ability to not desire food like a drug. Okay, I'm done for the night. I mean it this time. Goodnight!

Day 5...

The super slow and ignorant drivers were out today. So from the start I was a tad on edge today. Fortunately I chilled out. Started the day with my usual, two scrambled eggs, at work. Around 1, me and mom went to lunch at a Sonny's BBQ place. I know what you are thinking..."BBQ!!!!????", but no worries. I ate 2 chargrilled chicken breasts and two trips to the salad bar. In the past the salad bar actually meant a ton of buffet type foods with a tad of salad. Today it consisted of one salad with all the veggies, couple spoons of ham, shredded cheese, bacon bits (should have passed those, but oh well) and a little southwest ranch dressing. The next salad was the same, but with vinegar and oil instead of dressing and a few cheese blocks. The quantity was too much, but the quality of food was good. The worst calorie/fat choice was the ranch dressing and cheese, but that's fine since I hadn't had much. I estimate the calories to be the following...eggs/150, chicken breasts/400, salads/500 for a total of 1050. I am so proud that I passed on ribs, fries, baked beans, garlic bread, bread pudding and pasta salad!!!! To top it off, I took the kids to Burger King tonight for dinner and had another pleasant surprise. Chloe ordered the grilled chicken sandwich with a side salad and fat free ranch dressing. I was so proud of her. Unfortunately, Austin wouldn't even try a bite of salad and stuck to the plain cheeseburger kids meal. I pray he eventually will branch out to other foods without the juvenile grumpy tantrum. I did not have a thing from there! Was not hungry and really I still am not hungry. I will have a small veggie only salad maybe after bit, but for now I'm good.

I feel so good about myself. The bloated gut is gone, my jeans are a lot looser and I can see that my belly sticks out less. Today my energy was the highest it has been in ages. I didn't get home until 8pm tonight. I was out walking around different stores just to get some exercise and supplies in before the expected winter weather comes tomorrow. Overall it has been a great day. I love the time I spend with my mom before the kids are out of school and I love the time I spend with the entire family together. Family means everything to me and I thank God for mine everyday. It doesn't get much better than cuddling up under the covers with my beautiful wife and falling asleep with the woman I love.

Everyday and every night I pray to God and thank him for my blessings and ask Him to help me with my weight loss adventure. It is because of God that I am not eating junk that I have been addicted to. It is because of God that I am drinking more water than pop. It is because of God that my mom is eating healthier and also starting to lose some weight. God moves so much in our lives and I am thankful for his grace, forgiveness, blessings and help.

I guess that's all. It's funny, I dreaded writing tonight due to I didn't think I had anything to say. I'm glad I logged in. This helps me unload all my thoughts, vent my frustrations and gloat the things I am proud of without seeming like I'm bragging or boring another person. Peace out, off to explore the internet.

Day 4...

I was able to fit a pair of jeans that I got a couple months ago. They are a size 52 that my Mom got me just as a random gift. The funny thing is, I have been wearing a 52 pant size that fits me great and I have one other pair of jeans that are a size 50 that are snug but fit decent. This particular pair though never were able to zip all the way up and cut me off when buttoned. So I am very happy that I have at least went down in size enough to fit them!

Nothing much else to say. Stayed great on my eating today. That's it... more tomorrow I suppose.

Day 3...

Halfway to to the weekend, woo hoo! I started today with 2 scrambled eggs. I know it is a safe food, so I stick with it. For lunch I had my first temptation. Today was a company catered holiday meal. On the menu: Turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato caserole, rolls, pasta salad, broccoli salad, chocolate cake, other cake, banana pudding and our choice of water, tea, or punch to drink. I had several people tell me that I should just eat what I want and start back eating right tomorrow. That same stupid mentality is why I am huge and likely why some of those who told me that are too. I walked up to the line and asked for the shredded, dry turkey breast and green beans. Our site director asked if I didn't like the other stuff. I advised him that I love the other stuff, but was trying to cut back. He gave an approving look and told me he would give me extra green beans for the effort. I proceeded to take one scoop of broccoli salad. I didn't want much in case it had sugar in it. Judging by the great Italian-esque flavor with a slight hint of sweet, I'm glad I only got a small amount of it. I had never had that type of salad before. It had purple cauliflower, broccoli, cucumbers, grape tomatoes, onion and red peppers. I know I am going on and on about this salad, but I liked it ;-) A big container with Ice, water and big uncut strawberries sat on the drink table. I asked what it was and was told just water with strawberry "essence". After two glasses of the ice water all I could taste was the essence of water. I guess they thought just a subtle strawberry flavor would be infused in it similar to how a lemon slice will flavor water. It didn't, but it was better than soda. I was so proud of myself. No rolls, no desert and no huge portions!!!! The only issue I had today was my boss giving me 6 cans of Diet Mt. Dew (my favorite pop). I drank two of them over the 9 hours I was at work. I had tried to make my new rule 12 oz diet soda a day. Not gonna get too upset though. I did drink 50 oz of water and the soda was 0 calories and sugar free.

I can tell my relationship with God is stronger already. I have always had faith in God since a child and even more once I was saved in 2001, But I have never prayed and talked to God this much. It is that faith and prayer that is keeping me from craving my addiction of food. This way of eating (smaller portions, no flour and no sugar) is very similar to low carb dieting. Usually the 3rd day on low carb I am moody and craving EVERYTHING...but I'm not. A low carb diet is notorious for causing huge weight gains when you go off of it. The thing is though, it's really not low carb or protein loading that I am doing. I'm just avoiding flour and sugar. I am eating vegetables and lean protein. I have had oatmeal and skim milk (that is a low carb no-no). So I am confident that I am doing the right eating plan. Avoiding bread would be tough, but I know it is a trigger food with no nutritional value. Of course I am referring to enriched white bread. Having a six inch sub on 9 grain whole wheat bread at Subway I will have no problem eating. If the food is going to be good for my body/health, I will eat it. If it is useless to my body, like crackers, chips, cookies, etc..., I am not eating it.

Let me get to my first grocery trip of the new adventure. I had read and heard from many sources over the years that the outer walls of a grocery store is where all the food you should eat is. Today is the first day I remembered that while there and they are right. I hit the left wall for salad mix, green peppers and green onions. I proceeded to the back wall for lean turkey lunch meat, chicken breasts and ground turkey. Then we headed to the right wall for light cream cheese, shredded cheese and eggs. Of course I did have to go down the other aisles for canned chicken (easier for work), canned veggies and diet soda. I didn't need the diet soda, but as long as I limit it. I also realize that the canned veggies aren't as nutritionally packed as fresh, but with my schedule it is good enough. I plan on making a bun-less burger or meatloaf out of the ground turkey. Some cajun seasoned baked chicken tenders one night. Maybe some lemon pepper baked chicken tenders another night. I'm making a low fat cheese ball to eat on over this coming weekend. With these options along with my quick meals of tuna, canned chicken and veggies, I feel good about my food choices.

Enough for tonight. I'm tired and ready for bed. It's too soon to weigh or see a difference, but I can feel the difference. I thank God for realizing that He can help me and that I don't have to battle this on my own. This is about being addicted to food. I will break the addiction. I'm eating to live, not living to eat.