Hey, How are ya...

Feeling great today. I kept it under 1350 calories today and drank 60 oz water/green tea today. Took mom to the store and stocked myself up on good foods. Grapefruits, peaches, high fiber cereal and some lean round steak. I am getting a little bored with tuna and chicken. I looked up some things on round steak and found that lean and trim cuts in moderation are a good food choice. I will brown it in a skillet with a little extra virgin olive oil or nonstick spray and side it with a PLAIN baked potato tomorrow.

I posted my weight results for the month on my facebook yesterday. The first time I went public with what I am doing. I was so shocked at the number of friends from way back and now who posted words of encouragement for me. It gave me that little extra pat on the back I needed! I had two ask me the secret to losing 20 pounds in a month. I advised them that it was no secret. My reply was that I was making better food decisions, watching my portions and getting off my butt and walking. Knowing how I was before I started this weight loss adventure, I bet they will just go "oh" and forget about it. It is human nature to look for a secret fix or a pill to lose weight. If I were to say the secret is drinking a tablespoon of soy sauce and only eating foods that are red, they would be tempted to try it. Just eating smart isn't intriguing enough for some to try. They had birthday cake for a coworker today. I didn't even want a piece. To me, I'd rather not be a big fat dude more than I wanted cake. One of my coworkers who has struggled with weight issues said to me "that's awesome that you said no to cake. I just couldn't do it". My response was that I am finally realizing that I am stronger than food. It's the truth. I eat to live not live to eat.

I am so glad to have read the Half Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir by Jennette Fulda and to be reading From Chunk To Hunk by Fred Anderson. There are so many things I can relate to in their books. So much inspiration from their stories. Not to mention the great tips and philosophies on eating, nutrition and exercise they offer. I highly suggest them for a good read to help keep you on the road so you can stay focused on your adventure!

Weigh day aka make up ground day...

If you recall, I gained 4 pounds last weigh in day. Then I followed it up with 4 more pounds gained last Thursday which put me at 383 pounds. Well, today was my redemption day...sorta. I weighed in at 377.somethingorother. Officially for the contest, it was a loss of 1.4 pounds, but with the extra 4 pounds gained after, I really lost over 5 pounds. I didn't hit my goal of being at 369 on July 1st, but thats ok. Twenty pounds in my first month is a great start. My goal for August 1st is to be at 359, a total of about 18 pounds lost for July.

Now let me talk about today. Had late breakfast of fiber oatmeal and a banana. For lunch, a lean pocket, veggie crackers and some watermelon. Snacks at work were a 70 calorie dark chocolate bar and fiber one snack bar. Crystal made taco type stuff for dinner. I ate probably too much, but had turkey taco meat with refried beans on tostadas. These were topped with lettuce, tomato, black olives and shredded cheese. I watched Jillian Michael's tv show and got a little more inspiration. Too bad it came after I ate too much. Considering the few calories at work, I don't feel too bad about dinner. At 9pm me and the family went for a one mile walk. This actually turned into a 75% walk 25% jog for me. I have always read to not jog any until I lost more weight due to impact on the ankles and knees. They were right. I made the mile walk in 20 minutes, so that is 3 miles per hour. Not bad for my size. My left ankle and knee ache already. I am pretty sure I have a mild stress fracture in my left leg. My right hip, the one that bugs me at times, is yelling at me right now. But this won't get me down or keep me from doing it again tomorrow. I may even jog a little again if I am better...but I doubt it. I keep threatening that I am starting my food journal again and today I did. That's all I got for today. We'll have to do this again tomorrow. G'night!

Pre-Weigh day...

Today went fairly well. I had two peaches and a single serving pack of cheerios for breakfast. For lunch I had left over chicken breast, brown rice and grilled peppers. Dinner time was too late, but had to eat. I finished the last of the chicken and peppers and then ate too much by adding two low fat 40 calorie hot dogs with not so low calorie buns. Also, a 100 calorie ice cream (those awesome ones that are now thankfully gone) and a fiber one bar. Tomorrow at 1130 is weigh in at work. There is no way that the weight of all I have ate will be out of me by then, but as long as I have a loss I will be happy. Nothing else going on. I will make sure to post tomorrow the weigh in results.

Long time no blog...

Yep, it's been awhile since I have written anything. I've been busy with other things and really has been too late for me to get online lately. On Thursday night, me an Crystal got to go out on a date night as our kids had a sleepover at my mom's house. We browsed some stores around town and had dinner at Applebee's. Now used to, I would have had a big burger and fries or a fried appetizer sampler platter. Of course things are different now. I instead chose one of the under 550 calorie meals, chicken dijon w/portabello mushrooms and steamed veggies. It was really good, even if it was a little difficult for a minute to get used to the small portions compared to the huge plate I used to see in front of me. My motivation got even stronger Thursday morning when I weighed and found myself up another 4 pounds. So just to be clear, that is 8 pounds I gained since last weigh in (as of Thursday). So Thursday was a perfect day.

Friday was a great day. I started the day with watermelon at work for breakfast. Then I met my old buddies that lost their jobs at work for lunch when I got off at noon. We met at an Italian restaurant that has the best strombolis and calzones...and all you can eat breadsticks. I didn't do it! I didn't cheat! I opted for grilled chicken breast with a side salad. I dipped my fork in the side of ranch dressing, so no flooding my salad with fat and I also only drank water. That evening, me and the family went to the relay for life cancer event. We must have walked the small track 30 times. Thankfully I got me a good pair of walking shoes before we went to it, so I was feeling pretty good. I usually don't like eating late, but after getting home at 9:30pm and not eating since about 1, I had to break that rule. I cooked up some lean turkey burgers and had two on high fiber low calorie bread with lettuce and tomato. Then I added 100 calories of chips (not a healthy food, but did measure controlled portion) and some pretzels w/spicy mustard to dip. It was a huge dinner that hit the spot...and was only 800 calories. My total calories for Friday was about 1600. I also found some 100 calorie ice cream sandwiches which are awesome!

Saturday was a lot of walking. Starting the day with a sub from subway and then took mom to get her hair done at 2 and ran errands while she was there. Then we walked the shopping center getting Austin some shoes. After mom got out of her appointment, we drove about 45 minutes to another town west of ours to go to the drive-in theater. We had about 3 hours to waste before the theater gates opened. We walked around a couple stores in a shopping strip and then around a small indoor mall. An early dinner came at Wendy's. I chose, along with my daughter, the grilled chicken sandwich and side salad w/light ranch. That was about 400 calories. So far up until the movie started, I had consumed about 1200 calories. Then the movie started and so did my bad habits from the past. I ate an entire medium popcorn (no buttery oil on it though), handfull of veggie wheat thins, small pack of fruit gummy snacks, 5 fried cheese sticks, 3 chicken nuggets and ranch dressing to dip them in. I know, epic fail. I felt like crap after both movies ended. We went to the local walmart by the theater after the movies, about 2 am. We walked around for about an hour there, so I felt a little better by the time we headed on the 45 minute drive home at 3am. After dropping off mom, we got home at 4am and quickly went to bed. Total calories for the day, approximately 3400.

So here we are at today. Slept til noon. Straightened up the kitchen and put together a marinade for my chicken I'm grilling (hopefully) tonight. We planned on trip to the beach at the lake but storms hit before we were able to. If the rain doesn't leave, I'm just going to bake the chicken. The marinade I experimented with is: lime juice, little cider vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, soy sauce, minced garlic, thyme, cayenne pepper, paprika, curry, dijon mustard, pepper and a pinch of salt. I'll post how it tastes tonight or tomorrow. The only thing at this point I've ate today has been low sugar/high fiber oatmeal and a 100 calorie ice cream sandwich (told you they were awesome). So 270 calories as of 5:20pm. I'm not hungry either. I think my body knows how stupid I ate last night and is still processing all that crap. About 6 or 7 I'm going to make the chicken with some veggies and brown rice. That way I can be done eating well before bed time.

One last thing. I had mentioned I was at 383 pounds on Thursday. Thankfully, I weighed today and am at 372 pounds. The crap I ate last weekend is finally out of my system I guess. Now I just need to hurry and get rid of the crap I ate last night.

Back in the fast lane

Today was a great day. I was able to get back on the road and feel good tonight. I used to keep a food journal, but got lazy with it. I think it really helped, so tomorrow I am going to start it back again. Today I kept track in my head and I have had about 1700 calories. High fiber light bread and fat free turkey sandwiches (2) for dinner w/some pretzels, watermelon, oatmeal and grilled chicken salad at work. Then I ended the night with some really great watermelon. I gotta get down to 374 for me to be happy next Tuesday at weigh in. That will get the 4 pounds I gained off, plus one for the road. Overall, I want to be under 370 when July begins if at all possible.

We went grocery shopping tonight. I bought plenty of chicken breasts, ground lean turkey and some lean pockets for quick healthy eats. Apples, peaches, watermelon and will get bananas Friday (cheaper at other store). I did buy diet cola, but you know as long as my eating is good and I'm drinking water too, a good cold diet cola can be my treat...and there is no fat or sugar to run me off the road. Once again I waited too late to write so I am not taking as much time as I'd like to finish my thoughts. That was the point of my blog, to vent my thoughts and ideas about my weight loss journey along with other things. Unfortunately, I will have to go more in depth later. I'm tired and everyone else in the house is already asleep. G'night and thanks for stopping by to read a little bit.

Weigh In Day!

I gained 4 pounds today at weigh in. This takes me up to 379.2. Wasn't shocked, considering how I ate Sunday. It was more than I figured though. I then broke my vow not to eat stupid after a bad weigh in. I ate perfect at work only to go buy pizza for dinner. Not only did I sabotage my eating healthy, I put that crap in front of my kids to eat. The only good part is I did mow the lawn tonight and burnt some of those calories...not enough to cancel it out, but a little is better than none. Tomorrow is store night so I can get my good and healthy food in stock. On a side note, the stress I was under for financial reasons has been lessened. It's still not gone all the way, but I have found some breathing room. I won't bore you with details, but I thank God for answering a prayer. Well, I am back on track tomorrow and know I will be fine. I hope to lose at least 5 pounds this week. I got a new book to read. It's called "From Chunk to Hunk, Diary of a Fat Man" by Fred Anderson. I am a fourth of the way into it and it is pretty good. Just like the book Half Assed, it is someone who has travelled the road I am on and succeeded at losing tons of weight. No real advice in it that I haven't heard or knew, but that is what I wanted. I just wanted a good inspiring, motivating and real story to give me some hope when I am having a rough day. Goodnight, I'm tired and heading to bed.

Fathers Day

Today was very good. Went to church and then out with the family to eat. Mom treated me to a steak lunch (so I was off my good eating today). We took time to tell stories about Dad and on the ride home I talked even more about him to the kids. I took the kids for ice cream before we got home...yes I had some too. Not proud of how I ate, but I got my mind off the stress for awhile and had a good day. It's a lazy day, so not much to write about. Well...guess I'm done.

Afternoon at the lake

Went swimming with the family at the lake today. Stayed about 3 hours and got a good belly/chest burn. When we got home, I fired up the grill and put some chicken and veggies on it. I have a killer sweet tooth but am fighting temptation to eat ice cream and snacking on animal crackers instead. I didn't feel like blogging last night and really don't feel like it now but I know me staying on track depends on it. I am still stressed and can't shake the dreary feeling that Crystal's paycut has caused. I look everyday for either a higher paying job for her or a decent PT job for me/her. I really do not want to take a $7.25 hour job part time due to by the time taxes are taken and the fact I will only be able to work about 20 hours a week, I would have very little money for my time. I am still confident we will get through this, but I need it to hurry and get better before we lose something. It's not just the bills and fun money that are hurting, but the stress it is putting on me and Crystal is not good for the marriage. We have been through many bad things so I am not worried about us, but I also hate the constant bad moods that a lack of money causes. Nothing else to say.

Friday Eve!

Austin is spending night at friends house, Chloe getting clothes ready for tomorrow's GT camp play and I'm trying to suppress the stress. I went for a mile walk this evening and ate well all day. Unfortunately, I made two peanut butter sandwiches in a moment of stress eating. I really am having a rough night. First off, I feel like I am losing connection with my family due to them always wanting to be around the friends/boyfriends family. I am happy they all have these best buddies (Crystal included), but I almost feel that just having time to ourselves as a family is over and done with for them and that they will only be happy if our families are stuck up each others butts. Don't get me wrong, they are nice folks, but I guess I am just jealous that my family always wants them around or to be around them. Then I got Crystal's paycut killing our money situation. This is the worst we have been financially. Everyone has a slump and I know ours will end eventually, but it sucks making good money only to have the wife make just over minimum wage after making $2.50 more an hour just a few months ago. On top of that I got two great kids that should be able to go on a nice vacation like their friends and I wont be able to take them anywhere. I feel like I have completely failed as a dad and husband for not having my household in better financial shape. I guess it is inevitable that I need to get a second job, which also adds stress. Not only do I have the pressures of my day job and everything else, now I will be having to give up my nights to another job just to break even. I didn't intend this to be a vent session tonight, but its my blog so I will use it as needed. It is weight loss related though since stress leads to overeating and causes water retention. I'm spent...going to bed and try to feel better about life in general tomorrow. G'night.

Just got home!

Nothing metaphoric about todays blog title, I really just got home. As soon as I got to my Mom's house to pick up my son (daughter is at school GT camp), I ended up taking my Mom places. First we went to Arbys to eat. I had the small size combo roast beef sub. Not terrible considering I used to get the large combo and a side item or small sandwich with it. Today at work I only had an apple, can of chicken breast, half a can of greens and bowl of oatmeal so my total daily calories are right where I want them...maybe a lil bit higher. So after we ate, it was off to the pharmacy and then to the grocery store. Long story short, by the time I took her home and then got myself home it was a little before 10. I am wore out! No walk tonight like I had hoped, but I should get one in tomorrow. Today at first break I actually walked around the parking lot at work instead of sitting on my butt. By lunch though, it was way too hot and humid (my asthma would have been at level 10 I am sure).

As I was shopping tonight, I couldn't help but see foods in a new way. As the large woman in spandex shorts and a stained tank top walked by, I wondered if she might feel better and take more pride in her appearance if she changed some of her food choices. Twinkies, mayonaisse, donuts, bologna, chips and candy were the main choices I noticed. I was doing that same shopping just over a month ago. That's why I know that she most certainly would feel better about herself and have a little more pep in her step (and less grease stains on her shirts).

I headed down the produce section and picked up some apples. I used to find myself saying they were so heavy it would be too expensive to buy them individually and then wait for a magical sale on bagged apples that never hardly happened. Now, I pay the $1.69 a pound and feel good that I am eating something good for me and only paying about 50 cents each for them. Then I headed to the middle aisles. The majority of items here I am avoiding. This is more mac and cheese, hamburger helper and cereals for wife and kids. With the exception of canned veggies, I am avoiding all that starchy, sugary and sodium filled crap. Back to my foods now. I headed to freezer section for some chicken breasts. Back in the day I would see $7 a bag and think that was a lot to spend and would just go grab a $2 frozen pizza or $4 bag of chicken nuggets, but I never had an issue spending $8-$10 on just my food at fast food. Now I see at least two meals made out of that $7 chicken breasts, for three people (Austin won't touch it, but we are used to making him a separate meal sometimes). Cruising down dairy aisle, I grab some light flavored yogurts to eat along with my oatmeal at breakfast or when I have a sweet tooth. Get skim milk for Crystal to use when cooking. Yes, 2% or higher cooks better, but the kids never notice the difference in mac and cheese or on their cereal and they avoid unnecessary fat and calories. Ok, I've went on long enough. Point is I can easily identify bad foods from good and when I do eat bad foods (Arby's small size combos) I know not to eat much else and not to do it often. The store can be a eating right killer, so it's best to know thine enemy and avoid the bad neighborhoods in the store!

Yes, this is a boring blog, but I am writing this for me and to keep me on the right road on my weight loss journey. Maybe it will get better as the pounds drop off of me. G'night.

Weigh in day!

After the bad day eating Friday, I was really nervous about weigh in today. No need to be though, I lost 10.4 pounds! That makes 22 pounds in two weeks and my weight is now at 375.2! I am hoping to be under 370 next week. I was doing a little math in my head and hear is how I hope this goes long term (yes, I know I should just focus on one day at a time, but its fun to plan too): If I can lose 8 more pounds by end of this month (total 30), and average 3 pounds lost a week July - December (72 pounds) than I can be at 295 pounds and 102 lost by January 1st! That would put me within 50 pounds of what would probably be my goal. Obviously, I have not been under 300 pounds in years so I am not sure if 245 will be a good weight for my 6' 3" frame or not, but it would have to be close I would assume. I know I will never be skinny, I just want to be fit and not obese.

Lets get back to now. Today I ate like crap. I went without eating until after our 1pm weigh in. Than I proceeded to eat 2 biscuits, ham and baked spaghetti...and that was just from 130 - 330. At home I had two baked potatoes (w/margerine), two biscuits, ham and a slice of cheese. The food was courtesy of a family friend (I just think of her as my cousin) and it was so good that I just lost all control (story of my life). She is an awesome cook and does catering. My mom was fortunate enough to get some of the leftovers she made to take some work off of her feeding my kids and my friends kids that she keeps while we work. I just happened to inherit some of it as well. I appreciate every bite of that good food...but starting back tomorrow, no more of that kind of stuff. Back to lean protein, veggies, grains and fresh fruit. Grocery day tomorrow, so I can restock on the good stuff. It really is one day/meal at a time. Today I just laid down at every battle and let food win. Tomorrow I reload and kick some butt! The scale is moving down and my confidence is moving up, things are going good and I am confident the non-weight loss issues in my life are going to get better also.

At home sick today

Maybe a minor stomach bug is just what I needed for tomorrow's weigh in! (just kidding, I am glad to be feeling better)

Woke up this morning with nausea and all the typical upset stomach symptoms. About noon I finally got up and moved around. I'm feeling close to good as new right now. For lunch I had a pack of tuna and an apple. I know it isn't much, but I was afraid to eat much (both from being blah this morning and the thought of weigh in tomorrow). Tonight I will have a healthy choice dinner. Right now, I'm just relaxing and enjoying time with the kids. Not much else to write, but maybe by tonight I'll have more.

Rough day

Slept in today until about 1 partly due to up too late last night, partly due to not feeling great. After a bad night (eating wise) on Friday and fried tortillas with mexican toppings last night, I needed a good day today. Didn't happen. I had one left over tostada (not bad), followed by turkey burger and baked potato (again, not bad). Come tonight though, it went south. Had four slices of frozen pizza, way too many honey roasted almonds and a rice crispy treat. All in all it wasn't as bad as my pre-eating well days, but with a weigh in Tuesday, I should have ate better. Tomorrow I have to be on my A game and not screw up, same for Tuesday. Not much else going on. Just frustrated today with how I keep falling down with my eating habits. There is always tomorrow and I do better at work anyway. I am really nervous I am going to have a gain this week for not watching what I eat well. Two days to make amends with the scale.

Son's birthday party gives cause to cheat...

And now I feel like crap for it! I ended up at the pizza buffet/arcade for my son's 9th birthday meal. I figured I would have 2 pieces of pizza, a salad or two and just watch my son have a good time. Here is what happened instead...

Had watermelon at work for breakfast...good
Had roast beef sub and small fries at Arbys...not tragic, first fried food in over a week. didn't add a jr. roastbeef to my combo or supersize it like I used to.

Then the nose dive into failure. Started with a salad. One bite into the funky lo-cal dressing on it and I knew I was done. So I figured I would get 3 pieces of pizza. Not as bad as it sounds since the slices are about 4 inches long and maybe 1 1/2 inches wide, about the 1/3rd of the size of a regular slice of pizza. So one slice of buffalo chicken pizza, one slice of bbq chicken pizza and one slice of bacon and onion pizza. Than round two. 2 more buffalo chicken and 2 more bacon and onion slices. Than round three. Pasta with alfredo sauce, 2 more slices buffalo chicken and one more slice bacon and onion.

The tailspin continued with a piece of birthday cake. (which, I planned that part. it is my boy's cake. It's not like it's a regular ol party cake or something, it's special)

And the explosion when I hit the bottom was when I had another piece of cake at about 9:30.

So damage control begins tomorrow. I have until Tuesday (the next weigh in) to get my crap in gear and recover from today's gazillion calories! The plan for attack is simple and is as follows:
Don't beat myself up over one bad day.
Get out of the house tomorrow (weather permitting) and walk/shoot baskets.
Eat lean and light!
Drink water all day.

The day was a weight loss adventure breakdown, but that is just a small thing in the day. Being with family and celebrating Austin's birthday was great. Watching video of Chloe's talent show performances from today made me proud to have such an awesome daughter. I am blessed with a great family! My friends are awesome to. I don't have many true friends and don't see them much now, but I know they are there for me and they know I am there for them. In the famous words of Ice Cube, Today was a good day!

Contest standings released

Today the weigh in results were released. I ranked 4th overall with 2.97% lost!

Have ate well today, but tonight almost went too dark side. Had an overwhelming urge to eat everything for about an hour. I'm good now though. As usual, not much else to say. Was really missing my ol' work buddies today, but after I texted them and heard back I was fine. I guess it will just take a little while to get used to them not being there. Well, I am not going to stay up as late as I did last night so I will close this post up.

I can't go back to eating like an idiot. I have did great so far and no food is worth screwing that progress up! The goal for next weeks weigh in on 6/15 is 7 pounds. That would put me at under 380lbs.

WEIGH IN DAY!!!

Let me get right to it...I lost 11.8 lbs this week!!!!!! I weighed in at 385.6. I believe that is about 2.96% lost. Was very happy and came home and carried the motivation into taking a walk tonight.

So for the rest of the day...Got my blood drawn for a health screening, got a lot of stuff done at work and had a good walk with the family. The big thing was the weight loss for week 1 for me! Tomorrow we should see where I rank against the others and I will post it tomorrow. So, off to bed I go with a smile on my face!

Monday Monday

The weekend is always too short. For a Monday though, I can't complain. Work was efficient and not too long winded. Took mom to store afterwards and while I was gone, Crystal and Chloe mowed the yard...Score! Ate good and healthy today. Now I look forward to the first elimination weigh in of the contest. The three people with the lowest percent of weight loss for the week are kicked off contest. Today I weighed and was down 10 pounds. Let's just hope nothing I ate today was high in sodium so I'm not up tomorrow. The weigh in is at 430pm!!!! Usually I don't like to eat before a weigh in, but there is no way I can go that far into the day without food. So the gameplan for tomorrow is watermelon at breakfast and a pack of tuna at lunch. This should cover me until I get home to make grilled chicken and veggies. It's late and I gotta take kids to school in the morn, so goodnight.

Saturday stuff written on a Sunday morning

Saturday turned out to be an all right day. First thing as soon as I woke up I realized I was obligated to go with the family to Austin's best friend's house. This is also where Chloe's friend who is a boy (I refuse to call him her boyF@#end) lives. Not only was I dreading her and him skipping along with that whole going out BS, I knew Austin would be hanging with his buddy and then I'd be stuck to myself while Crystal chats all day with the parents. Turns out I was wrong. We got there and they were grilling out for all of us, so immediately I was nervous about my eating. When they realized they forgot some things from the store, I rode with her hubby to pick it up. Me, the anti-social guy actually initiated small talk and had a decent talk to and from the store. And to add to my coming out of the shell, I participated in at least 75% of the conversations. The meal went fine too, only had one burger patty (no cheese or mayo) and a salad (with no dressing) along with a bottle of water. Yea me! Then panic set in, they have a huge pool that I already knew everyone wanted me to get in with them. It took all I had in me not to fall to pieces over it. You have to understand, I never take my shirt off in public due to my own view of how I look. Besides my moobies (man boobies for those not familiar) and my gut, there is also the fact that I look like I am wearing a fur rug as a sweater with all my chest/back hair. Add to that the fact that I just know I out weigh that little plastic ladder they use to enter the pool. I could just imagine how it would end. I would take my shirt off causing nausea, step onto the ladder and as soon as get to the top it would come crashing down taking me and a wall of the pool out with it. There'd be the pissed off parents, crying kids and and embarrassed wife and daughter. But that isn't what happened. After the nice meal I headed outside with the rest of them. I took a deep breath, remembered that I was on the road to getting rid of the moobies (I'm stuck with the hair though) and shed my shirt and hastily went up the ladder-so as to not linger too long with my weight on a particular step-and got in the pool.

So, to summarize, good meal, good swimming/lounging, no embarrassment and stayed on my healthy eating plan. I don't plan on becoming a social butterfly, but at least I know I can interact with other humans outside of work.

For dinner I made taco salad with no dressing, just taco sauce. Total calories today about 1700.

Now it is 223am Sunday, so I am going to bed. bye bye!

big day

I am posting this at little after midnight Saturday the 5th, but the contents reflect Friday the 4th events.

Chloe had her 5th grade graduation and DARE graduation. She read her essay about what she learned in the drug awareness sessions of the DARE program in front of all the other 5th graders and the family members. She did great. After that, they went right into 5th grade awards. Chloe got citizenship award and science awards. All was still going good. Than they played a 20 minute slide show of pics from all school year set to those tear jerker worthy graduation songs. I'm a big dude, but remembering my baby Chloe and than seeing her now getting ready to enter middle school teared me up. I was just glad I got my crap together before the lights came back on. After that all ended, I headed to work and was off by 345.

All this time, I didn't eat anything which would turn out to be a bad idea.

At Chloe's last day of tryouts today, she officially found out she didn't make the team. She was sad for a minute or two than back to her regular chipper self. She says she wants to try everything until she finds a sport she is good at and knows what she needs to do to improve at basketball. Austin meanwhile, went home to stay overnight at his friends house. Final note, Crystal called about job and they said no decision yet. They told her would call her next week to give decision. So everyone (or just me) keep praying and keep fingers crossed that she gets it!

Getting back to the not eating being a bad idea...At about 430 I had a 2 chkn wraps (450 calories). Not bad at all. Then night time came. From 9 to about an hour ago I consumed the following: handful almonds, fiber one bar, peanut butter on a spoon, pretzel sticks and baked spicy chicken tenders made into two sandwiches. Estimated total calories for the day 2100.

Not a total failure, but way too many calories in short amount of time.

Thats all, going to bed now.

DAY 3 OF CONTEST...

All good today. Once again plenty of baked chicken, rice and apples. I added some low fat tortillas and black beans for dinner. Calories around 1900.

Not much else to say. Chloe's basketball tryouts not any better for her but she is still committed to finishing the week. Crystal not heard from job she applied for. Stinks knowing odds are she didn't get it after last week she got such a good vibe about it. There is still one day of hope left, she will call tomorrow to get final word on it.

Alright, got other things to do so I'm done for the night. Adios.

HEY, ALMOST FORGOT...

Took my measurements today so I can also gauge inches lost as well as pounds. Here they are. I am embarrassed to post them, but no one is reading this anyway but me. Who knows, maybe when I lose all my weight my embarrassing blog entries may help encourage someone else in their weight loss journey.

Chest: 54 1/2 inches
Waist (lets face it, my belly): 61 inches (yes, sadly I'm serious. My waist is only one inch shorter than my wife's height)
Right upper arm: 20 inches Left upper arm: 18 1/2 inches
Right thigh: 36 inches Left thigh: 35 1/2

There they are, another item to help keep me motivated.

So far so good...

Day 2 of contest. Ate really well all day and had a large -but healthy - dinner. Total calories were around 2000 but all were from low fat, lower carb and mostly natural foods. lots of chicken breast meat (grilled or baked), brown rice, steamed veggies and had a couple low fat tortillas with fat free refried beens and salsa to go with the chicken for dinner.

I feel so good today. It is amazing that two days of eating smart can make a person feel so good but one will easily do away with that good feeling for a burger and fries or pizza. I have did it so many times, but know I have it in me to stay the course and not screw up this time. I let mom have my copy of Half Assed to read. She is finding the same motivation as I did in it. She is trying to do good eating with me but some old habits die hard. Tonight I took her to the grocery store. As we both filled our carts with proper foods for each of our homes, she reached back into old habits...all ready. As she shows me a marked down cut of fairly lean round steak, I acknowledge and tell her "looks good, just trim off all the fat and that won't be bad at all". Figure not much fat marbling in round steak, all the fat is easily seen to be cut off and red meat in moderation has good qualities. Mom however looks at me shocked and replies "that fat makes it moist and taste good". Failed. As I remind mom that fat also has lead to the countless stints and double bypass on her heart she seen the light. I say that but deep down know that instead of taking it home, trimming it and throwing it on the indoor grill she most likely just cut it in strips (fat and all) and through it in a skillet with a little (too much) oil and then added some stir fry veggies and thinks she had a dinner that wasn't too unhealthy. Eventually I hope to modify her habits, but right now I gotta focus on me. I am a fragile healthy eater. I can go from 1600 calories to 6000 in an hour. The important thing is taking it one day at a time.

Work was better today. Getting used to my crew being gone. Again I thank my buddies for texting me today to say hello. Tomorrow boss is back and I will know if I work Saturday. I hope I do so I can be off Friday to go to my daughter's 5th grade graduation. I don't get to go to a lot of my kid's events at school. This one means a lot to her so I'd like to go. I can't wait until I have lost my weight and am able to do the active things they'd like to do with me...and so I'm not the fat dad that in a few years they will be ashamed to be seen with. It's late, gotta get up early...goodnight all (or just me).

Big 'ol boy got bigger

Since the first gung ho blog entry and weight loss start roughly two weeks ago, I have gained 4 pounds. Today's weigh in has me at 397.4 lbs. I will say though I have went through lots of good food this past holiday weekend and weigh in was at 1:30pm (after I had ate twice and drank two bottles of water). Regardless, I am heavier and feel worse than I have in long time. I look back at my past entries and remember how good I felt. Well, it's time to get back at it.

I thought today would suck, but it wasn't bad. I missed my homies like crazy but they showed me love with texts and facebook messages. Angie, Jamie, Rachael and Laura are awesome at encouraging me! All of my buddies are, but I am only singling out the ones who contributed today ;-)

There is going to be alot of competition in our work version of biggest loser. I know just by looking at the people who didn't need to join, who will be popping laxatives and water pills, who will starve and who will drop out. I will be in the group who actually wants to lose weight and could care less about a prize...although I would gladly take it. One of my co-workers, who shall go nameless, proceeded to give me all sorts of wonderful advice on dieting. Obviously he doesn't realize that an obese person who has dieted all their life knows more than most diet gurus just from the personal experience. I politely nodded my head and agreed...even when he was recommending I do a workout meant for those who aren't 160 pounds overweight. Oh well, that's part of the adventure.

On a different subject...Chloe probably won't make basketball team next year as try outs proving to be too demanding. She is making me so proud though and is going to finish out the week of try outs. She is winded and wore out and talks about how so many other girls were better than her - but she is staying positive. She knows that what she learns now by trying out will show her what she needs to do to have a chance at making the 7th grade team next year.

This has been long winded, I know, but that was my day in a nut shell. I'm just glad I got my diet short bus back on the freeway and out of the restaurant drive-thru.